The recent passing of pan icons, stalwarts, leaders, and supporters, rekindled my emotions on my dad's ascending, and my concept on "death". Over the past few years, I have lost quite a few people dear to me, and our country has seen numerous funerals; indeed, we have attended far too many wakes and viewings of bodies, than we would have hoped for. I read of Boogsie's sorrowful "send off" to his friend and colleague, and it reminds me of how often we seem to take LIFE for granted (pardon the cliche).
The last time I saw my dad, was the summer of 1987, when he sent for me to visit him in the Bronx, New York, where he had been staying, in preparation for medical testing and treatment for his colon cancer. At the time, I had not yet gotten my "green card", and in one of our conversations on his inevitable demise, he told me that I "under no circumstances", should return to Trinidad until I got my immigration status resolved. That advice included "even if I died", as he put it. Sure enough, on January 18, 1988, I got "the call".
We all go through our "grieving process" in different ways, and I admit, when it comes to someone close to me - I'm a crier. My dad's passing hurt, because, I knew I had to take his advice, and I did not return to attend his "sending off", so for me, my mourning was compounded by that reality. And so, I did not see my dad laying in any casket, or have to endure the agony of watching his lifeless body be incinerated, according to his wishes for cremation over burial. And I was not given the undaunted task of taking the urn that held his ashes to its final "resting place". Indeed, what appeared to be an unfortunate circumstance, turned out to be a "blessing in disguise", for, the only image I have of my father, is one where he is "alive and kicking" (again, excuse the cliche).
As I, too, approach "the inevitable" - none of us are getting out of this alive - the concept of "Life and Death", is one that I continue to place in a philosophical context, for while I may claim to understand "life", I am not convinced that anyone of us understand it's (equally) opposite - DEATH. I am yet to meet someone who died (as my dad did) and come back to tell the story, although I know people who claim to be "born again". I would sincerely like to ask those "born again" people, what it was like to have died, as, according to their (own) teachings, "the wages of sin is death...". I have absolutely no idea what's on "the other side", and, though, I'd like to believe that there's more to "life" than these "three score and ten" we are given on this planet we call "Earth", the reality is, that all I have is the here and now, in my opinion. The moment. I tend to grasp the moment, more and more, as I age with this temporal reality of our existence, we call "living", for the future is a place in time that, unless by some miracle, my three-dimensional existence would not be invited (to).
I leave you with a quotation from "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran, as his words inspire and strengthen me, and I hope it can do the same for any of my WST and "pan family", who may be going through bereavement in this moment in time. May ALL our steel band and pan people, who have left this form of life, continue to RISE IN PAN (R.I.P.)!!!
GHOST.
"THEN Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.
And he said: You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the
king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that
it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."
Excerpt from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran
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Andre, Valley, Cecil, Bertel, Bugs, and Brenda: Thank you for enjoying this post. I appreciate all your comments, as well as those who read in silence. If I accept you all as family, I must be honest in exposing who I am, and trust that you make the correct judgement, while understanding that the ULTIMATE JUDGE, already knows my heart, and is not fooled by personas. I wish this entire WST membership long life, but more importantly, the wisdom to know that essence (of life) trumps mere existence (in life), and LEGACY holds more significance and substance than LONGEVITY. Shem Em Hotep (May you go in peace).
Thank you for sharing George. Most of what I read from the excerpt from The Prophet is what I have always felt in my spirit, it reassures me that I am not off my rocker.
Well Done Bro! You are an evolved soul. I always admire the Love you still have for your Beloved Dad. May your Children grow in wisdom as you have, and understand that the only true lesson in live is '''LOVE''! Blessings to You My Bro!
Replies
Andre, Valley, Cecil, Bertel, Bugs, and Brenda: Thank you for enjoying this post. I appreciate all your comments, as well as those who read in silence. If I accept you all as family, I must be honest in exposing who I am, and trust that you make the correct judgement, while understanding that the ULTIMATE JUDGE, already knows my heart, and is not fooled by personas. I wish this entire WST membership long life, but more importantly, the wisdom to know that essence (of life) trumps mere existence (in life), and LEGACY holds more significance and substance than LONGEVITY. Shem Em Hotep (May you go in peace).
GHOST.
Ghost - Forward ever, backward never...
bugs
Pure, clean and uplifting, I like this.
Thank you for sharing George. Most of what I read from the excerpt from The Prophet is what I have always felt in my spirit, it reassures me that I am not off my rocker.
Well Done Bro! You are an evolved soul. I always admire the Love you still have for your Beloved Dad. May your Children grow in wisdom as you have, and understand that the only true lesson in live is '''LOVE''! Blessings to You My Bro!
Again I am very proud of you my Trini-Trinity brother... In Humanity and Pan, Peace!!!