The Late O’clock News
(The Late O’clock News is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within thelateoclocknews.com are fiction, and presumably fake news. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.)
'they don’t mass produce steelpans even though the entire world LOVES that fucking thing!'
After Moody’s Investor Service downgraded Trinidad and Tobago’s rating, Google has been disappointed in Trinidad and Tobago, a nation it has gotten involved with due to a 2013 email scandal. Google sees TnT as country with great potential that is being wasted. Google is considering buying the twin island republic for about $30bUSD to run its affairs more efficiently and reap the benefits for themselves.
Google CEO, Larry Page, said the company is disappointed most of all by Trinidad and Tobago’s lack of initiative. “It’s crazy. The country has so much oil, so many engineering and computer science graduates, so much international cultural capital, yet they have invented nothing to help with their traffic problem, they still use typewriters in licensing offices, and they don’t mass produce steelpans even though the entire world LOVES that fucking thing! I heard some people even still use Blackberry phones. It would be an injustice for us to sit back and let this laziness persist.”
Page continued. “For those who know their history, there was a time the US considered annexing the entire Caribbean to itself, but it thought better of it because we didn’t want to give you all full citizenship to migrate to our shores. We clearly made the wrong decision because you all still flood our nation in droves anyway. Since colonialism is no longer morally acceptable, we will go the good old capitalist route and just buy you out on behalf of our great nation.”
Replies
Yeah Bertel; I like exposing corruption, especially when they mess with meh steel pan instrument, of which I am an ADVOCATE, I hate liar's, who eventually are also thieves, I have just disclose evidence of a willful Patent and Copyright INFRINGMENT of the 4ths & 5ths technology on the tenor pan, to a Grand Jury In the United States for an Indictment via Extradition, where the penalty is in triplicate, five years in federal prison, or $ 250.000.oo fine or both ...
I Find that Google Damn Fast with their Self.
Andre; do U believe these ppl ? Google want's to by T&T for $30,000.000.oo million US dollars, what they don't know is that T&T have so much money, which is the real reason Y Google may really want to buy into T&T, all that oil, and what most people forgot is that, we are the third largest asphalt exporting country in the world, and we're not aware of the revenue that comes into this country, Y U think the politicians is so corrupt and fighting like dog's for power ?Yip ...
Satire Leslie! Reminds me of how people get really caught up as they watch the Young and The Restless!
I'll up the price to 40 bill.USD on one condition, ah don't want Diaz. I MY country he is ah"presonna non gratta" lol
Cecil: Yuh always picking on Diaz. The man is a masterful politician who vanquished the NEW VISIONARIES. Start a new opposition party quick. Because when October come and we eh see no big set ah opposition we renewing for 3 MORE YEARS whether allyuh like it or not. Tell MERRYTONES to hurry up and reach the part where he teaching MUSICAL COMPOSITION FOR PAN. Because ah still waiting to hear ONE DECENT COMPOSITION featuring a WELL-RECORDED PAN.
Boom!!!
Hey GUY'S; what really pissed off the Americans is, AJW a NIGGER, went into WHITE AMERICA'S WHITE HOUSE, and BULLSHIT their BLACK President, dat is Y they want to buy T&T, so they can turn it into another Puerto Rico, U guy's should be glad, U will become Americanized...
Yeah, when we have nutten to say it's all BLACK and WHITE. Turning it into PR or anything else may be an improvement. Skip the racist caca de toro.
Leslie: Only ONE AMERICAN was pissed off. But it just so happened that he had control of the JUSTICE DEPARTMENT. Even JACK keep saying "AMERICA" was out to get him but it was NOT AMERICA it was ONE AMERICAN.
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