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July 7, 2011 - The ‘Pan Buzz’ to date

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SOUTH BAND HAS JASON “PEANUTS” ISAAC IN LIMBO

Invaders Steel OrchestraWith Trinidad & Tobago National Panorama 2012 just six months away, arrangers are lining up behind bands. Caribbean Airlines Invaders Steel Orchestra expected to make no change, after arranger Arddin Herbert showed maturity with a fourth placing in the 2011 finals. He has redeemed himself and repaid Invaders’ faith in him. And boy, they have kept the faith since Arddin used to wear short pants without jockey shorts. Remember when you was a big man you never used to wear underwear until you reach 18? Remember? Don’t play you don’t know that. I went to school with a girl who used to wear a flour bag drawers. All of you must be saying Pan Buzz is a real macco. Yes! I really like Arddin’s spirited arrangement of “Doh Be On Dat,” a collaboration with Remy “Rembunction” Yearwood. I expect that both men will be coming again with a smasher.

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All is not well at Solo Harmonites Steel Orchestra, where, I think, arranger Yohan Popwell will be given a stay of execution. The jury is still out on his performance so far, although many believe he will strike like a mappipire.... but when? Yohan has promised much, but delivered little. You know Pan Buzz knows everything, even what goes on behind closed doors in people house, all because of my elaborate network of spies that span the pan world.

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Brooklyn-based Jason “Peanuts” Isaac is waiting on a call from a prominent south band. Right now the panist/composer and arranger is in limbo, and cannot commit to a band until he hears from the south bigwig; why treat him this way?  Can we be a bit more professional?
 

South bands have not been doing well for the past three decades, although southerners have kept the faith for years. They really have belly. Jason feels he can deliver, but he cannot wait a lifetime. What’s wrong with south bands, like they need a bush bath in Paradise Cemetery or what? You want to tell me Sando has produced some quality panists and pan arrangers including Lennox “Bobby” Mohammed and Steve Achaiba, Liam Teague, Dennis Smith, Tosca, the Bonaparte brothers, Ken “Professor” Philmore, Milton “Chicken Wire” Austin - and they cannot take a National Panorama?  IS BULLPISTLE THEY WANT all over they body. Who doh hear will have to feel in 2012, as my Grandma will say “they playing up in they coffee.” The wait for southerners has been too long. It like a plum tree in Tobago ...it overbearing. South panmen must rise to the challenge in 2012, or play violin. I done talk.
Now let me make myself clear, don’t keep blaming the judges for south failures......don’t.
 

PAN PEOPLE WAKING UP

I have always had a problem with Pan people and their ‘freeco’ mentality. I could never understand why a man would stand by a gate and have his ‘pardner’ call out: “You. You with the red cap come, come.”  Then he let you in free, although you have money in your pocket; so you buy a beer and bring it for the gateman. No, man, that can’t be right. Then you say you going to patronise the bar, you lowlife. When you do that you killing the Pan. I’ve always advocated that Pan people must put their money where their heart is, not mouth. So that is why I feeling happy like a posey, that enamel container that used to be under Grandma (and Grandpa) bed, when my spies tell me two Pan events made some dollars. The Pan Lovers International Fundraiser, and some private promoter doing a thing. When a Pan event buss, it is real tears. It does be sadder than an Indian movie. I’ve seen promoters hold they head and bawl like 49 Tarzans. Pan people, nothing does gladden my heart like when I eat cooked food, a curry goat with black-eye peas, and when I hear a Pan event score. Bless.
 

NO PAN IN THE MAS

People who know me will tell you I could eat a curry barbed wire and dhal and wash it down with a red Solo and ask for more, and don’t even bat an eyelid when I am defending the Pan. So while I am prepared to give Mr. Patrick Lewis and his organising committee the benefit of the doubt, and offer congratulations on yet another successful Caribfest presentation (I am referring to the Houston, Texas, USA Caribfest held last Sunday), I won’t be so kind when they leave out Pan in the mas. Now - I am not King Dotish, or Ma Backside son. I know these productions cost money like gobar (cow sh-t). You know I does try to educate my readers, and create my own dictionary, so bear with me. I never went to school, I went by the door. Then, too, I went to High School, a school a stilts. Ha! Ha! Ha! I ketch all yuh sleeping with that one. Guys, next time give Pan a play, on the after parade show. My spies tell me you gave even sexy Brazilian dancers a play - and no Pan, not even a one-tune panman. No man, we must do better.  Pan Buzz gives all yuh a bligh this time, you won’t be so lucky the next time!

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Until next week, wherever you are in Pan’s Diaspora, keep on loving The Pan.  You hear?

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